Ludays

There she was, in the midst of everything but nothing at all. She consumed everything, anything to keep it out. She refused to acknowledge it, she hated even thinking about it, but why? This girl claimed she was in search of something, but never did she realize that perhaps it is in the thing she fears most. What had it done to her before that kept her away from it? She knew she needed to face it, in fact there were countless moments where she stared it in its face, but when it comes to her, she was going to avoid it at all cost. Everything around her validated her and made her feel comfortable in knowing that she would no longer have to face it. She couldn’t bear looking that in its face, it revealed too much. Too much of what she wasn’t prepared for, or so she thought. Too much of the anguish that came with recognizing it and being in it. Too much of the change that she she claimed she was ready for. She has done it before so whats the problem now? Why shy away from it if you are so daring? “Its all apart of life I can do this” she would proclaim, but then fill up her time. “I’ll get to it another day” she would shout as weeks had gone by. “My goodness, it’ll be good for me, I know it will but just not right now” she would scream as she sobbed into the night. Why all of this tug o war? Why all of this back and forth for something so small? Is it the act of it that worries her or is it what she’ll discover?

It’s reoccurring, we all hit the period where it’s time. Time to face it, the part in life where everything goes silent. Those times are needed for reevaluation, for peace. It’s not a bad thing, but in those times of silence we feel that it is overbearing, it’s scary. In silence we find truth and discover so much, but we will do anything to get away from it. Ahh, but you see life, it will sit you down and have you in that silent period. You are the one to determine when it’s time to break the silence. Take this time to discover something, whether new or old. Do that healing that you so desperately want, look for the things that bring you joy and correct the parts of you that you feel needs more attention. Out with the old and in with the new. My silent periods feel like spring cleaning. Something that I low-key feel like I can put off but I know I need to get it done. In every season in life I hit the time of hermit mode, and i’ve learned that running away from it never works, you cannot outrun it, so it’s best to welcome the silence and befriend it instead of making it an enemy.

It's the first of the month, let's celebrate. 
Song of the week:
https://soundcloud.com/user-624621817/this-is-how-we-celebrate?si=95ac1026d1294af3bbaee206b37412e5&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing